Bloodlines
by loveletterstothedead
Summary: Emma doesn't remember anything; she woke up in a place called Purgatory with a green eyed man, a vampire, and an angel all more than willing to help get her out. But as things go from bad to worse Emma isn't sure if the real world is any better than the hell she's lived in for most of her life.
1. Chapter 1: A Girl Named Emma

**Bloodlines**

 **A.N: I will be trying to follow the real storyline but I will also be changing a lot of things to go with my character. Enjoy and review!**

 **(Prologue)**

Once there was a girl who opened her eyes for the first time in years. She opened them and saw a grizzly man staring down on her, "What you doing down here?" he whispered, his light eyes staring in wonder, "I don't know?" the girl answered in a soft voice that echoed throughout the cave the girl was hidden in. The girl was barefoot and covered wearing a thin white shirt that barley fit and small white shorts, clothes that were meant for a child, which she was not. The girl was at most 16 years, thin, her dark red hair matted, and confused. Benny named the girl Emma.

 **Chapter 1**

I watched as Benny ran to go help a man who was being attacked by a vampire. I tightly held the knife Benny gave me and I looked around in case there were any loose vamps hanging around. My baggy clothes I stole from a dead werewolf were the only things that kept me warm. My legs shook as I tried to stand my ground and make sure no strays tried to attack him.

"What, no thanks for saving your hide?" I hear Benny tell the man, "Sure. I won't shove this up your ass," the man retorts. I get tense and move closer to the scene, Benny was my only way out of here and I wasn't going to let this guy hurt him.

"Mm. Awful strange way to punch your meal ticket, friend. I got something you need," Benny says looking at the man sharply. "Yeah, what's that?" the man asked. I walked close, staying behind Benny as they circled each other, "There's a way out," I say softly, getting my first real glimpse at the man. He was covered in mud and held an odd looking knife in his hands, he looked at me with sad eyes filled with questions, "At least that's the rumor," Benny continued, covering me with his body.

The green eyed man, Benny, and I continued to circle one another, "Bull," the man answered in a deep voice. "Suit yourself. Maybe you've gone native. Maybe you like being man meat for every Tom, Dick, and Harry," Benny said with a small laugh.

I cringed as I looked at the decapitated vampires on the floor, no one deserved this. Not even them. Benny would give a lecture if I ever talked like that, saying; they don't care about you, so why do you care about them. I so busy looking at the bodies that I didn't even notice that we stopped moving.

"So you just want to guide me out of Purgatory out of the goodness of your undead heart?" the man said. I stare hard at Benny's back, wondering why he was risking his butt for this man. "More or less," Benny answered.

"What's in it for you?" the man asked. "I'm hopping a ride," Benny said and I paled, was Benny going to leave me here? I thought he needed me. "What?" the man questioned, "It's a human portal, jackass. Only humans can pass through. I show you the door, you hump my soul to the other side." Benny said.

"So you're looking for a soul train," the man scoffed, Benny chuckled, "Sure. If that's what you're into." While they talked I peeked at the greened eye man, his gaze never left Benny's, "And how do I know this isn't a set-up? How do I know I ain't gonna end up like your friend over there?" he said and looked to the decapitated bodies, then finally at me.

"He was my friend. Now you are. First rule of Purgatory, kid. You can't trust nobody," Benny said. "Hmm. First we find the angel," the man said, still looking at me, "Mm, four's a crowd, chief," Benny answered quickly.

"Well, hey. Either you're in or you're out," the man said. Benny looks down to me, "What's your name?" I ask the man softly. His eyes stay hard, "Dean," he answers, I look up to Benny and whisper into his ear, "Why do we need him?" I ask. "You ain't strong enough girl, been awake for a bit, I can't keep every monster at bay all by myself," he answered back.

I look at Dean, "Ok, we'll help you find your angel," I said and walked forward, "I'm Emma, this is Benny," I said and give him a small smile.

* * *

It's been a while since we found him, and Dean didn't stop staring at me, even as we question every monster we passed. " Take a picture it will last longer," I said with a smile and turn to face him while we walked to find a place to rest. "Just wondering what kinda monster you are," he said in a deep guarded voice. I stayed quite, "She's human, just like you chief," Benny answered in a low voice. Dean stopped walking, "And you need me because," he said roughly, "Because I can't fight ever monster out there by myself," he growled at turned into a cave.

"Go ahead and rest Em," Benny said, I take off my large flannel and use it as a pillow as I laid on the cold ground. "Try to get some sleep," Benny said and I whisper back, "ok," even though I never wanted to sleep again," What if I don't wake up," I whisper to Benny softly, "You're going back topside even if I have to drag you," he said with a small smile.

I nod and close my eyes so Benny would leave. Benny sat next to Dean at the head of the cave, and I stared at the cave walls, I couldn't help but to feel useless. Dean and Benny are fighters and I wasn't, just the sight of a drop of blood made me feel uneasy. And I hated that I was not strong enough to help them fight and find Dean's angel friend.

"So, what's her deal" Dean whispered to Benny. "No idea, found her passed out cold one day, took her under my wing," he answered, then continued, " She doesn't remember anything, not even her own name, so I gave her one and I'm gonna get her out of here."

Dean nodded, "She's just a kid, she don't belong down here," he said quietly. I smile and say softly, "We'll find Castiel, Dean , don't worry."

 **Hope you enjoyed the first chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2: We Gotta Find Cas

**A.N: First off, thank you to Missy Winchester and Izaria! Your reviews truly mean the world to me :D . Second, the first few chapters will be taking place in Purgatory, but do not worry, you'll eventually get to see all of your favorite characters. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

I was on look out as Benny and Dean tied down and questioned a werewolf about where Castiel was. "I don't think he knows, man," Benny said softly, then walks to me, "Oh, he knows," I said and turned to face them, something in the were's eyes told me he was lying, he knew where Castiel is, the real question, why wasn't he telling us. Dean puts a hand on the werewolf's shoulder and growls, "Where's the angel?"

Dean pressed his knife closer to the monster, "There's a stream, it runs through a clearing not far from here. I'll show you," the werewolf finally speaks. Dean moves his knife, holding the tip under its chin. "How about you just tell me?" Dean said with a sinister grin.

"Three days' journey. Follow the stream," the werewolf said, then continued, " There's a clearing. You'll find your angel there." Dean looked back at Benny and I, then turns back to the monster. "You know what, Mutt? I believe you," Dean said, then pushes the knife into the half wolf half man's skull through his chin.

Benny looks away, but I can't stop looking, I could see the knife in its open mouth. It chokes and gurgles as Dean keeps the knife in the monster, when he finally pulls it out, the wolf's head forward.

I watch all of it in horror, as Dean and Benny head to the stream and leave the werewolf's body changed to the tree. I ran to the dead body and let him down, his body falls to the ground and I struggle to lay him down. "Emma!" I heard Dean yell and I finally lay him down and wipe the blood on my shirt.

"Coming, I'm coming!" I yelled back and ran to catch up with them. "What were you doing Em?" Benny asked, I frown and look to him, "I had to pee," I said and continued to trek forward to catch up with Dean. "Bull," Dean said and turned to me, "You can't keep doing that Emma, it's slowing us down," he said and I looked down.

"I don't understand, why kill them?" I said, "Because Emma, their gonna come after us, you can't leave this place if you're dead," he said and continued to walk. "He's right Em, what do I always tell you," Benny said, "Don't trust anyone," I whisper and continue to walk.

I know that if I didn't learn to just suck it up and deal with the fact that no one here cares about me except Dean and Benny, but I didn't want too. I didn't want to believe that everyone that ends up here is a monster and only knew how to kill, partly because that would mean I'm a monster.

Which Benny and Dean would not ever let me call myself, they believe that I was innocent and everyone else, including themselves, were bad. It was just really hard to wrap my head around the idea of Purgatory. Whenever I asked Dean or Benny about the monsters, the leviathans, they just brush off my questions; they treat me like a child.

* * *

It was our second day on the trip and I was going filled to the brim with questions that Dean and Benny did not want to answer. Either they ignored it, we were attacked by some monsters, or Dean made me practice fighting with him. I hated that the most, I knew I couldn't hurt him, but I didn't like that he tried to make me.

"What you thinking about Em," Dean asked as I catch up to him, "Are the leviathans bad?" I ask, playing with a piece of my ugly dark red hair. He looks at me with a raise eyebrow, "Em, don't worry about them, just worry about getting out of here, okay." He said pulling me into an awkward one armed hug.

"I have to worry about it!" I said with a loud sigh, "Dean, it's been months, till we're out of here, I have to worry," I said and crash into Benny's back. "Vamp's!" Benny yelled, Dean jumped into action. Vampire's came out of the woods and went straight for us, I struggled to pull my knife out. "Emma one on your left,!" Dean barked out.

"Got it!" I said and turned to the vamp, his teeth were fully extracted and he was heading straight toward me. I put my knife out and attack the vampire, with great difficultly, the vampire was a lot stronger than me, but with my practice I was able to take him down.

I closed my eyes as I plunged my knife into the vampire's heart, he let out a shriek. I jumped off the vampire and look at Dean and Benny, who were already moving on. I caught up to them, "Learn to keep your eyes open," Dean said, "Sorry," I mutter. He ignores my apology and leads us away from the stream and to a little empty cave so we can rest.

As if Benny could feel the tension he asked me, "Tell me about that Hamlet guy again." Dean rolls his eyes and I smile, Hamlet was something I just remember one night and I told Dean and Benny about it. Ever since then, Benny always asks me to tell him the story, in hope to get me to remember more stuff.

"Ok, so there was once a prince of Denmark," I say and sit next to him and Dean.

I didn't sleep at all after I told them the story, sleep has become something that I never seem to get enough of. I wanted to be able to help them in case anyone attacked us, after months I was actually finally helpful, or at least that's what Dean says.

A few minutes after we left the cave we were attacked by 2 werewolves. "Hang back Emma," Dean said and went in for the kill. I was too busy watching Dean and Benny fighting I didn't notice the extra wolf lurking around.

It jumped on me and brought me to the ground, all the air was knocked out of my lungs. I barley had enough time to gasp in a bit before the wolf placed his big hands on my throat. I couldn't reach my knife and I was starting to feel light headed.

I tried to turn my head and scream but I couldn't. Tears started to run down my cheeks and the wolf made his grip tighter. My vision was turning black, then I felt the wolfs grip loosen and something warm on my face. I open my eyes and see a knife sticking out of his head and Dean throwing the body off me.

"Told you not to close your eyes, Em," he said and took me in his arms, then handed me to Benny. If this had happened to me when I first woke up in Purgatory I would be in panic, but now it didn't matter. We were so close to Dean's angel, and I didn't want to be the reason we didn't make it in the 3 day span.

I push myself out of Benny's arms, "Let's keep going," I said and wipe my eyes and walk on, "We're close, I can feel it," I said then smile at Dean.

 **Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed and I hoped you enjoyed the chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3: Ohana

**A.N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! :3 I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

We walked for what seemed like hours, the stream seemed endless and I was really feeling the pain in my neck. We were pretty lucky that no monsters were around we got to the clearing with no attacks.

There was a man in a dirty trench coat who was hunched over, he was washing his hands and face in the stream. I looked to Dean who paused, as if he didn't believe the man was there. He ran up to the clearing, "Cas!" he yelled.

"Dean," the man looks around then to Dean, he stands tall and turns to us, his blue eyes staring in disbelief. Dean struts up to him with a laugh and pulls him into a hug," Damn, it's good to see you. Nice peach fuzz," he said as he pulls away. I look at the scene with a smile, Cas was not like anyone I've seen in Purgatory, there was just something different about him.

"You should meet somebody. This is Benny and Emma. Benny, Em, this is Cas," Dean said with a smile. I smile big and walk toward Castiel despite Benny slightly holding me back and pull him into a hug, just like Dean did. "It's nice to finally meet you," I say keeping him in a tight hug.

I pulled away and Castiel looked at me with squinted eyes, I look to Dean and Benny, "Is hugging not how you great people?" I said, Dean laughs and Benny ignores my question and says to Castiel, "Hola," looking uninterested in meeting him.

"How did you find me?" Castiel asked Dean, while they talked I asked Benny, " How do you greet people? I don't want to hug people and them look at me like I'm weird," I said, he once again ignored me and asked Castiel, "Why'd you bail on Dean?"

I looked at him in horror, sure I don't know how to properly great people, but I know you don't just straight up ask people that. "Dude," Dean started but was interrupted by Benny, "The way I hear it, you two hit monster land, and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some backstory," Benny said eyeing Castiel.

"Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?" Dean said defending his angel friend.

"No," Castiel said and continued, "I ran away," and I looked at him, "I don't understand why would you leave your friend?" I said looking at him with a frown, Dean spoke so highly of him, this couldn't be the same Castiel he spoke of, it just couldn't be, "You ran away," Dean restated in disbelief.

"I had to," Castiel said with sad eyes, "That's your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla-wolves?" Dean said ,raising his voice, "Dean -" Castiel started but was interrupted, "You bailed out and, what, went camping? I prayed to you, Cas, every night," Dean said looking hard at Castiel, Benny looking at him in disgust.

"I know," Castiel said looking away, "You know and you didn't... What the hell's wrong with you?" Dean asked. " Dean," I said softly and place my hand on his arm, trying to calm him down.

"I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived," Castiel said in a hard voice, "Join the club," Dean growled out. "These are not just monsters, Dean. They're Leviathan," Castiel said, I looked straight at him, those were the monsters that Dean would talk about, " I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you. That's why I ran. Just leave me, please," Castiel begged.

"Sounds like a plan. Let's roll," Benny said trying to grab me, but I doge him, "No, we are not going to leave you," I said and look to Dean who started to tell Castiel our plan. "Hold on, hold on. Cas, we're getting out of here. We're going home."

"Dean, I can't," Castiel said in a sad voice, "You can. Benny, tell him." Dean said turning to us. "Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it's angel-friendly," Benny said in a soft voice.

"We'll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you," Dean said, then continued , "And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let 'em. We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again."

"It's too dangerous," Castiel said, "You got us, Castiel, Benny and I will help you guys," I said with a small smile. Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?" Dean said with a grin.

"I understand," Castiel said with a grim look.

Dean, Benny, and I were fighting back to back. Monsters were coming at us from all angles, Benny was whistle as he attacked them. Dean was attacking them viciously and I was just trying to keep up. There was one attacker left as I walked up to get him Castiel came out and into the clearing. He place his hand on the monsters head and a bright light came out, I covered my eyes and when I opened them the monster was dead.

* * *

It's been a few days since we found Castiel and tensions between him and Benny. I had no idea why Benny had the need to pick fights with the angel, Castiel was kinda cool, he liked my stories and helped me brush up on my people skills. He actually answered my questions, instead of ignoring me like Dean and Benny. Although he answered them under Benny's glare, Benny would tell him I don't need to worry about that stuff. He would just say after we get out, I'd get to live a normal life. The way he would say it made it seem like he didn't really believe it.

"Well, I got to admit, Dean – he's got his strong points, but holy hell if he ain't a magnet," Benny said loudly. "Well, before we found Cas, you said it was my and Emma's humanity that was drawing too much attention," Dean said defending Castiel.

"Yeah, that too," Benny said standing by what he said. "Well, I think we're clear for the moment. It does present a curious curl in the metaphysics, doesn't it? If you murder a monster in monster heaven, where does it go?" Castiel said curiously.

 _Maybe they go to heaven_ , I thought in my head, one could only hope. "And this is the crazy aunt I want to take on the road?" Benny said raising his eyebrows.

"I am not your aunt," Castiel growled out, "What? Really?" Benny said in a fake surprised voice. "I have no possible relationship to your sibling offspring," Castiel continued standing right in front of Benny. " Now, you're kidding me," Benny said with a laugh, Dean then groaned out, "Oh, you two are killing me."

"Castiel, he's just messing with you, right Benny?" I said looking at him, he didn't answer me, what's new.

"I have to agree with the vampire, Dean. The risk of crossing Purgatory with a seraph - it's... less than strategic, and certainly when we have no reason to believe that I can pass through the door that you're headed for" Castiel said softly to Dean.

"You see, you and Emma intact, living human being stuck in Purgatory's craw. This dimension wants to spit you out, which is exactly what's gonna power our escape pod. Now, I'm pretty sure I can squeeze through, too, because, after all, you take away the fangs and the fun, I was born human, too. But..." Benny said.

"I don't think it would work for me," Castiel said finishing Benny's sentence, then Benny continued. "You hear what he's telling you, Dean? Your buddy is saying- "

"Listen to me, you undead blood junkie, I'm the one with the mojo. I'm the one with the plan. Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us," Dean said. "Obviously, I'm less than comfortable with that," Benny said looking at me.

"Benny, we got to at least try, we are," I said trying to think of the word I remembered the other day, " we are, ohana," I said with a smile. "Oh-what-a," Benny said looking at me with a frown. I continue "It means family, and family means-"

"Nobody gets left behind or forgotten," Dean finishes. Benny nods and leads us out of the clearing. I walk next to Dean and frown, "Did I say this before, because I am 100% sure I made that up," I said and Dean laughs, wiping the blood off his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Not to burst your bubble, but that quote is from a movie," He said with a grin. "What kind of movie," I said looking at him closely. "An action movie, it's for grown-ups," he said defensively, I nod and pretend I believe him, something about how defensive he got made me think otherwise.

It took us what seemed like a life time to get to where the portal was, but we made it. We were so close to the portal, it was reacting to Dean and I, Castiel said. "You ready. Just like we talked about," Dean said turning to Benny.

"Putting a lot of trust in you, brother," Benny said, "You earned it," Dean answered. They cut their forearms and grip each other. "I'll see you on the other side," Benny says to me, I smile, "See you soon," I said, hope blossoming in my chest.

" _Conjunti sumus, unum sumus_ " Dean said and Benny turns into a red glowing light and gets sucked up into Deans arm. Dean grimaces and says, "Let's go," he grabs my arm and pulls me with him.

We climb the mountain stumbling and tripping over the roots of trees, but push our way through. Until we finally get there, tears formed in my eyes, I was so close to freedom, to the real world. "Emma! Dean, wait!" Castiel scream as two balls of smoke came crashing to the grown.

I knew what they were immediately, "Leviathans!" I screamed to Dean. Dean pushes me away from the fight, "Get to the portal," he says. I ignore him and go help Castiel by decapitating one leviathan, Dean gets the other one then runs to the portal with me in tow, "We gotta move the portal is closing!" he yells.

Castiel helps Dean and pushes me up the rocks to the portal, once Dean and I make it up to the portal we tried to hold on to Castiel.

Everything happened at once, Castiel tells us to let go, "Cas!" I scream but Dean holds on to me. The portal closes and the world goes dark, all I can think about is Castiel, the angel we left behind.

 **Hoped you enjoyed. :D**


	4. Chapter 4: Benny

**A.N: Thanks so much for the reviews! They really mean a ton to me 3. Sorry for the late update, I was having a really bad week. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Also, Sorry for the short chapter. But on the bright side Sammy is in the next chapter!**

 **Chapter 4**

There was a bright light, then darkness. Dean started to trek on forward to a white tent that was right in front of us. I ran to tried to catch up with him, but stopped when a man with a flashlight came out of the tent.

I hid to avoid being seen, the man was looking around, flashing his light around. "Stay here," Dean said when the man turned back to talk to someone who was in the tent. Dean ran out as the man turned the light back on him, the man let out a surprised yelp.

"Where am I?" Dean growled out, "What," the man said in a shaky voice. A woman comes out of the tent and in one swift motion Dean cocks his gun and points it at her. "W- hey, hey!" the man yelps and pulls the woman behind him. I resist the urge to knock Dean's gun out of his hand as I walk out and ask again, "Where's the road?"

The man points at a direction then said, "Twelve miles, that way." Dean kept his gun on them and motioned me to grab two backpacks that were on the ground. I grab them and Dean starts to run, pulling me along, "Thanks," I yell out as I run.

It took us 4 days to get to where we needed to be and the whole time I was staring at everything in wonder. Everything was so different from Purgatory, but by far my favorite thing to look at was the stars. I don't know how but I remember them, I remember a sort of excitement and comfort looking at them.

I also got to shower for the first time since I got out of Purgatory, being out of those bloody, dirty, smelly clothes was the best feeling in the world. I looked in the mirror for a long time also, out of curiosity. My hair was more of a strawberry blonde than blood red, and my eyes were hazel and wide like a child's. I also had really pale skin and freckles that appeared out of nowhere. It was looking at a stranger; I couldn't be the girl in the mirror, she was only a child.

The backpacks we stole had a bunch of personal hygiene stuff and clothes. My bag consisted of combat boots, a black v neck t-shirt, red button up flannel, and worn out jeans. All that were too big for me, because I was "little", as Dean said, of course I was little Castiel, Benny, and Dean, were all giants.

There was a stone pillar on this great mass of land that had "Lafitte" on it. I smile, I was going to get to see Benny again and properly thank him. We walk on to the lank toward the windmill, Dean carried a shovel and I struggled to carry his duffle bag.

Once in front of the windmill, Dean took a few strides forward, "This better be you, you son of a bitch," he said and I smack his arm. "Language," I said with a frown. He rolled his eyes and started to dig. He did it with grunts of pain, I felt awful that I was just standing there. "Do you need help," I asked, he declined.

So I just sat down on the ground near Dean and looked at the stars, then I started humming. Dean laughs and I looked at him, "Asleep by The Smiths, good taste in music," he said then continued to dig.

I don't know how I remembered the song but once Dean said the name of it, the memory was even stronger. I closed my eyes and I saw pitch black eyes, normally the kind that would make you cringe, but they brought me comfort and sadness.

Those eyes were so familiar and I kept digging for the memory, but the more that I dug the further the memory seemed. It hurt worse than leaving Castiel in Purgatory, than being almost choked to death, but I couldn't think of a reason why.

I heard Dean grunt; I opened my eyes and stood up. "Need help?" I said as he struggled to get out of the hole. I help pull him out of the hole; he dusted himself off then looked at me, "You okay? He said.

I gave him a look, and then brought my hand to my cheek, it came back wet. "I don't know," I said in a soft voice, then wipe my cheeks. He nodded then said, "All right," then he looked at his arm which was starting to glow red.

"Hold on, you bastard," Dean growled out and got his knife then cut open his left arm. "Anima corpori, Fuerit corpus... totem resurgent," as he said this red glowing liquid dripped out and onto the bones, Dean groans in pain.

I sigh and turn around, "Benny!" I scream and run to him, pulling him into a hug. "That was fast," Dean said standing up and walking toward us. "No thanks to you. The hell took you so long?" Benny said, moving away from me.

"Lil' Red needed rest," Dean said clutching his arm, "You're Welcome," I said rolling my eyes at Benny and mutter about how ungrateful he is. Benny began to crack his neck, "Everything working?" Dean asked.

"Good enough," Benny opened his mouth and his fangs descended, then retracted as he closed his mouth. "So… what now?" I said looking at both Dean and Benny, we never really talked about how things would go once we got out of Purgatory.

"Like we talked about, I guess," Dean answered looking at Benny, I stare in confusion, "We didn't talk about anything?" I said, trying to get their attention. "This is goodbye then,"Benny says and I freak out.

"We just got you back Benny," I said in a shaky voice, "We can't leave Dean alone," I finished. Dean and Benny share a look, "I'm leaving, Em," Benny said in a hard voice. "Obviously that's just what you said," I cried out, "Dean needs us, we are family!" I said and Benny shakes his head. "You're staying with me Lil' Red," Dean said softly.

"What?" I say and frown, "We're family, we can't leave each other, it's not safe," I said, tears forming in my eyes. "Things are different here Red, you're human," Benny said softy, talking to me as if I were a child.

"You don't need to hang around with me," Benny said, "It was a hard decision for us, but you're safer with me," Dean said. "I won't have a normal life with Dean, I'll never have one," I say softly, "Did you really expect me to just come out of Purgatory and forget everything that happened there," I started to raise my voice, "I will never forget Benny!" I almost scream.

"We don't expect you to forget Red," Benny said, "I have some things to take care of and I don't need to be watching out for you no more," Benny continued. I wanted to fight, to tell him he can't leave, but I could see the decision was final. I was too tired to continue fighting and Dean could see it.

"Keep your nose clean, Benny. You hear me?" Dean said, Benny walks toward him and the shake hands and hug, "We made it, brother. I can't believe it." He whispers to Dean, then pulls away and heads for me; I don't offer him a hug.

"Stay safe Emma," he said and left.


	5. Chapter 5: Oh, Sammy What Have You Done

**A.N: Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows! It means a lot to me 3 . And sorry for the really late update, I've just been busy, but I promise I will not give up on this story! Happy reading :D**

 **Chapter 5**

Dean brought me to a cabin, it belonged to a friend he said. I actually slept that night, and woke up feeling refreshed. Dean didn't sleep at all that night, I could tell by the bags under his blood shot eyes. "Moring Sleeping Beauty," Dean said with a mouth full of food. I rubbed my eyes, I fell asleep on the couch, "Did want to risk waking you up," Dean said and handed me a hamburger.

I grab it and frown, "Burgers are not breakfast," I say and stand up to go to the rest room, grabbing my bag on the way. I looked like a well-rested mess, I brushed my teeth then my unruly hair. I walk back to the couch and pick up the hamburger and take a big bite. "See, perfect breakfast!" Dean said as he took a swig of his second beer.

"Yah, breakfast of champions," I say with an eye roll and grab the beer out of his hand and put it out of his reach. I throw him a water bottle, "You need to hydrate," I said then take a sip of my water and urge him to drink his.

He does with a frown, "Happy," he says with a sarcastic smile. I pursed my lips and continued to eat my food. We were still adjusting to life out in the real world and it was hard.

As much as Dean was trying to help me, I was trying to help him. I was surprisingly adjusting well, I wasn't as skittish as I was before, just alert. Dean was not, he drank anytime he could and was on high alert.

And I was worried, I wanted to call Benny and tell him but I didn't have a phone and I wasn't allowed to talk about Benny. So I would just try to hide the alcohol, which would just lead to Dean going out and buying more. I had no idea what to do.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked me, I look at him and give him a small smile, "I'm doing okay, but Dean I'm worried about you," I say softly. He shakes his head, "No, Em, I don't want to hear it, don't you worry about me kid," he said and rubbed his face.

I don't fight him, there was no way to get through to him. "Emma, I'm okay, really," he said, I sigh and cross my arms over my chest, then lean back in my chair. "I want ice cream," I announced, I stand up and grab my backpack.

He didn't try to stop me, "Be back in 7 minutes," he said and threw some cash at me. "Bring me some pie!" he yelled as I jogged out the door. I jogged to the convince store that was mile or so away, I knew if I wasn't fast Dean would probably come storming into the store guns blazing.

I got to the store pretty fast and headed straight to the frozen food, I grab a pie and my ice cream. As I walk through the aisles I hear a lady call out, "Ben, watch out!" I felt all of the air fly out of my lungs as I fall face first into the ground.

"Sorry," I hear a boy, Ben, call out. I push myself up at the same time Ben reaches for my groceries. "It's okay," I manage to mutter out and stand up; he also stands and hands me the pie and ice cream.

"I am so sorry," the lady says and pulls her son toward her, "Its fine…," I say with a smile, "Lisa," she says putting her hand out for me to shake. I smile and take her hand, now knowing that hugging strangers is not okay, and shake it.

"Emma," I said looking at the watch on her wrist; I've been here for 6 minutes. I tense up and say goodbye to her and Ben. As I left Ben's eyes followed me, there was something very familiar about that I could not place. But I shook it off and jogged to the cabin, I needed to get back before Dean goes nuts.

* * *

I opened the door quietly and saw Dean talking to someone, the person was really tall and had long hair. I took my knife out and held it discreetly, Dean already had his guard down, so I had to have mine up. He then walked toward the refrigerator, grabbed two beers and sat down at the table next to the fridge.

He looked up and saw me, "Emma, this is my brother Sam," Dean said and motion for me to put my knife away. I smiled and cautiously walked toward the table with my bag of food. Dean continued to talk to Sam, "I can't believe you're actually here," he takes a sip and grabs the pie, "You know that half your numbers are out of service? Felt like I was leaving messages in the wind." He finishes looking intensely at his brother who was still standing, staring at me, almost like he saw a ghost.

"Yeah, I-I-I didn't get your messages," Sam stuttered out, "How come?" Dean asked in confusion. I pulled a chair out and sat next to Dean who interrogating his brother. "Probably because I ditched the phones," he said softly, "Because…?" Dean demanded.

"I guess, um… I guess something happened to me this year, too. I don't hunt anymore," Sam said with a tentatively. "You quit?" Dean said in disbelief, "Yeah. Yeah, I – you were gone... Dean. Cas was gone, Bobby was dead. I mean, Crowley even shipped off Kevin and Meg to parts unknown." Sam said in defense.

"So you just turned tail on the family business" Dean questioned, "Nothing says family quite like the whole family being dead," Sam said with a sad smile. I stayed quiet as they fought, my heart broke when Dean asked if Sam looked for him.

Dean was furious, so furious that he stormed out of the cabin leaving Sam and I alone. "Welcome back," Sam says bitterly. I sigh and pick up the beer bottles Dean left and put them in the fridge. Sam turns to me and stares as I clean up, "Do you want to sit of something?" I ask and turn to face him.

He sits down and I sit down and eat my ice cream, "So how did you meet Dean," he asked me. I looked at him, "In purgatory, he helped me," I said softly and offered him some ice cream, there must be some reason he didn't look for Dean. And as much as I wanted to ask, I knew I couldn't, it was none of my business.

Sam looked at me in confusion, "Why were you in purgatory?" he asked, "I have no idea, Ben- I mean Dean found me," I answered, and curse myself for mentioning Benny. "What do you mean found you there?" he asks, I close my eyes. "I was in a cave and he found me, I was unconscious," I say softly as I remember the day I was saved.

I tried to avoid the fact that I had no memory; sure he was Dean's brother, but I hardly knew the guy. "So, um, Emma," he started, "I'm sorry for staring, you just kinda remind me of someone Dean and I knew," he said with a sigh. "Funny thing is her name is Emma too," he continued suspiciously, until Dean interrupted him.

"You don't need to tell her," Dean said as he walked into the door. Sam and I both look up startled, "Dean-" Sam started, but stopped as Dean walked toward me, "Grab your stuff, time for hunting practice," he said and headed back out the door.

Sam huffed in anger and went to the fridge to grab a beer. I kinda felt bad for him and the puppy dog eyes he kept giving Dean, but I also think it was his fault. Dean needed help and Sam didn't go and help him. Sam and Dean are family, if family didn't help each other, then who did.

"I'm sure you guys will work it out," I mutter and grab my stuff and head out.

* * *

We got back later that night and my body was sore, Dean really needed to let his anger out. But I didn't appreciate being a punching bag, and I told him. Which made him give me the saddest eyes ever, I had no idea how to fix it.

When we got back Dean sat down and began listening to all of the voice mails left on all of the cell phones they own. While I sat next to him, assembling and reassembling a little black gun Dean gave me, while eating the ice cream and pie I bought earlier.

"You guys want some dinner," Sam asks, "Pass," Dean said putting an earphone into his ear and continued listening to the voice mails. "Nope," I answer and get a disapproving look from Sam, "Emma you need real food, not just dessert," he said and I roll my eyes.

"This is real food, the ice cream has calcium and the pie has fruit, it's practically a balanced meal," I said smiling at him while shoveling more food into my mouth. He sighs and mumbles that he is going to get some food. He closes the door softly and I glare at Dean.

"He's your brother, you need to at least try Dean," I say softly when he ignores my glare. "He should have tried to find me," Dean shot right back, I stayed quiet for a while. "Do you think anyone went looking for me?" I asked him, his head came up slowly.

He looked at me with the softest look anyone ever has, "I bet they were searching the world for you, I know I would," he said and smiled at me. "Thanks, Dean," I said and looked down with tears prickling in my eyes and a lump in my throat.

"Emma," Dean said and I looked up and wiped my eyes, "Yah," I answer looking up. "No chick flick moments," he says with a grin. I let out a snort and throw my empty carton of ice cream at him.

 **I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter and the little cameos, dont worry there is way more to come! Review if you liked it !**


	6. Chapter 6: Where's Kevin?

**A.N: I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Please, Review if you like this chapter. And to those who have and are following the story, thank you a bunch! Also, Felicia Day (Charlie)'s book is out and I love it! So go out and buy you're copy.**

 **Chapter 6**

Sam was eating dinner at the table, while Dean was still listening to the messages on the phones. I was just reading a book on lore; all of a sudden Dean turns to Sam and gives him a hard look.

"What?" Sam asked looking softly at Dean. Dean pressed a button on the phone and a voice message played out loud. " _Sam Winchester, it's Kevin Tran. Crowley had me in this warehouse, and I just escaped. I don't know where I am. And I don't know if he or – or any other demons are still after me. I need your help. Call me back. It's Kevin Tran._ "

It was dead silent, "When was that?" Sam asked , Dean ignores him and plays another. " _Sam Winchester_. _It's Kevin Tran. I called you a week ago. Call me, please. I don't know what the hell I'm doing out here, man._ "

My heart ached for Kevin, not only did Sam abandoned Dean, he also abandoned him. Sam puts his spoon down, "Okay," He stands up, "I get it. So, what, you want to... strategize or something?" Dean ignores him and plays another message.

" _Sam, it's Kevin. I'm... Whoo! I'm so good._ " Sam stands up and asked, "Is he … drunk?" My eyebrows scrunched up, "Drunk?" I asked Dean, he brushed off my question while Sam looked at me is surprise, as if that word is something everyone knew.

" _Three months since you ditched my ass. Haven't slept for more than four hours a night. It's all good in the hood. [clears throat] Uh, if you're still alive, eat me_." Dean replay's " _Eat me!"_

Then he plays the last message, " _Sam, it's been six months. I can only assume you're dead. If not, don't try and reach me. You won't be able to. I won't be calling this number anymore._ " Dean heard enough, he stands up, "He was our responsibility," he said and tossed the phone at Sam's chest, and continues, "And you couldn't answer the damn phone."

The room went silent; Dean sat down and grabbed a book from the pile next to me. Sam stood there for a while, looking at me. "You should have helped him," I said looking hard at him, in Purgatory things were different, we looked out for each other. But here it seems like its everyone on their own, even if you are related.

Sam frowns at me and goes back to the table to finish his food. He also takes out his laptop and begins typing furiously on it. Dean and I continued reading, but I start slowly drifting off into sleep. I stood up, "I need some air," I declared and headed out the door.

The stars were out and shining brighter than ever, I walked out into an open field and laid down. It was cold but calming; I fell asleep in the dewy grass and dreamt of the black eyes. The eyes that I've been trying so hard to just ignore.

Maybe it was for the better that I didn't know who they belonged to, what if it did more harm than good. I tried to wake myself up but something kept me in my dream, something I've never seen before. A face.

It was a man's; he had sharp cheek bones and a thin handsome face. He also had light almost translucent skin and hair, and pitch black eyes that stared into my soul. But something about his face was so familiar, his nose and the freckles on his pale face greatly resembled mine. The dream felt all too familiar.

But as soon as the dream came, it vanished and I was left trying to grab on to it. I opened my eyes and sighed, I don't know how long I was asleep but it was still dark. I stood up and my back was wet and my neck ached. I wanted to find the man but I had no idea who he was or even who I am, I'm pretty sure my real name is not Emma.

I started my trek back to the cabin in sadness, if only I heard what the man was saying, then I would have somewhere to start my search. When I got back Dean and Sam were talking, "You were right. He was our responsibility, so let's find him, okay?" he said.

I smiled, "When do we leave!" I said running to Dean side. Dean turned and looked at, then let out a laugh, "You are not coming with us," he said, looking to Sam for help. I puff of my cheeks and said, "If you leave me here I'll never talk to you again!"

He laughs, "Go to bed Em, because there's no way I'm letting come with us."

* * *

I didn't speak to him all morning, every time he asked me something I invited him or answered it with a glare. "Well I'll tell you one thing, you're really good at this teenage thing," Dean muttered as he handed me a bagel. "But your still not coming," he said and took a swig of his coffee.

I looked at him with a glare and let out a huff, but stood my ground. "Maybe you should let here tag along?" Sam asked Dean, he immediately shot down his question. They were going to leave soon, so I had to resort to drastic measures.

I hid all the alcohol. Everything, this was a sure way to get his attention. And it did, he came stomping outside in anger, "Where's my beer!" he yelled. I didn't stop packing the impala, "What?" Sam asked walking toward him. "The fridge was full yesterday!" Dean yelled in distress, then faced me, "Emma…" he started.

I continued to ignore him, "Hey, Sam did you hear something?" I asked making sure Dean knew I was ignoring him. "Emma, where's my beer!" Dean barked at me but I continued to ignore him, and then asked Sam while looking straight at Dean, "Hey Sam want a beer?" I pull one out of my backpack and handed it to him. Sam looked at me in distress he did not want to be pulled into this fight but he gladly took the beer.

"Emma, you're not going with us, so just hand over the beer" Dean sighed, but I ignored him and told Sam, "Just ask me when you need another," then said to Dean, "I got plenty." Sam lets a laugh out and takes a sip of his beer. Dean lets out a loud sigh and rubs the back of his neck, "Hand me a beer and we'll talk about it," he says.

"Promise?" I asked Dean holding out my pinky, he hooks his in mine, "Promise." He said. I open the impala trunk and pulled out another beer that was hidden and tossed it to him. He smiles and opens it, then motions us to get into the impala, "Let's head out," he said.

I jump into the back seat, "Well… no visible signs of douchery – I'll give you that," Dean said to Sam while looking over the car. A sent hits me hard, "Does it smell like dog to you guys?" I asked them, Dean looks back and takes a huge sniff.

Sam inhales, "In the car?" he asked, "You tell me," Dean asks Sam. He shrugs his shoulders and I grab a body mist out of my backpack, "Hell no!" Dean barked, "I'm stuck in the back seat and in less you want me to complain the whole way, you will let me spray," I warned him. Dean let out a grunt and I sprayed the body mist.

* * *

We stop at a motel for the rest of the day, Dean went to the vending machine as Sam and I unloaded the car, Sam paused to look at Dean before he heads towards the room. Two kids ran around playing with fake guns. I sigh; they don't yet understand death or the horrors of the world, what I would give to be like them. So care free.

I walked into the motel room and jumped on a bed, Sam headed straight to the bathroom. After a while, Dean walks into the motel room and just sits on the edge of the other bed facing me and the bathroom. "Go ahead and sleep," Dean said softly, it was like old times Dean watching over me while I tried to sleep.

"Okay," I said and close my eyes, I wasn't going to be able to sleep, I didn't want to see more dreams that meant nothing and just left me even more tired than I was before I would sleep.

I hear a door open and Sam say, "You okay?" he asked Dean, I heard him let out a nervous breath, "Yeah. Yeah, hey, what do you say we blow this joint, hit the road?" Dean answered. "Now?" Sam asked, "Yeah, Kevin's not getting any more found," he said quietly.

"The kid survived a year without us. He'll be okay for another twelve hours. Besides, when's the last time you slept?" Sam asked Dean, who ignored his question, just like when I would ask him. "Hmm," he said.

"What?" Sam asked Dean, "Nothing. Is that, uh, that how you rationalized taking year off? People will be okay?" Dean shot back. "People were okay, Dean. You're okay," Sam said with desperation in his voice, "Wow," Dean said in disbelief, "You hear that Emma, we're okay," he said with a bitter laugh.

I opened my eyes and look at him, "look, I did what we promised we'd do. I moved on. I lived my life," Sam said in defense, "Yeah, no, I'm getting that," Dean said looking at Sam. "Look, it wasn't like I was… just oblivious. I mean, I read the paper every day. I saw the weird stories…" he walk over to the bed I was in and sat down to face Dean, "… the kind of stuff we used to chase."

"And you said what? Not my problem," Dean fired back at Sam, "Yes. And you know what? The world went on," Sam answered back. "People died, Sam," Dean said in a low voice, "People will always die, Dean. Or maybe another hunter took care of it. I don't know, but the point is, for the first time, I realized that it wasn't only up to me to spot it," Sam said.

"Hmm. So what was it, hmm? What could possibly make you stop just like that? A girl? Was there a girl?" Dean accused, Sam scoffed, "The girl had nothing to do with it," he defended. Dean sat up straighter, "There was a girl," he said looking straight at Sam.

Sam looked grimly at Dean, "Yeah, there was. And then there wasn't. Anymore questions?" Sam said looking at both Dean and I. "Yeah, when's lunch. I'm starving," I answered and stand up, then stretch.

* * *

I walked into the motel carrying two bags of fast food later that day, I threw one to Dean who was sitting on the floor and one to Sam who was on one of the beds. I then grab out of my backpack some melted popsicles. Sam rolls his eyes at me, "Emma, that is not real food," he said, "You're a growing kid, you need a balanced meal," he continued.

"Bullshit," Dean barked, "Langue!" I yelled back at him, then look to Sam who was starting depressed at Dean. "Maybe you should talk to him," I whisper to Sam, they are family and I hated to see them fight. Sam nods, "Listen, I know this is gonna sound crazy to you. I don't even necessarily need you to understand. But… you need to know," he sighed and continued, "I didn't just drop out, Dean. I found something. Something I've… never had all my life."

Sam looked at me and I gave him a thumbs up, "What was her name?" Dean asked softly, "Amelia," Sam answered, his voice breaking, he must have really cared for her. I could see it in his eyes, the way he said her name with so much love.

Dean said, "So, what, you, uh, dropped your peanut butter in her chocolate? How'd it happen?" Sam sighed, "I hit a dog," he answered. Dean turns and points a finger at him, " I knew I smelled a dog!"

"And I knew you'd throw a bitch fit," Sam said, "Hey, the rules are simple, Sam. You don't take a joint from a guy named Don, and there's no dogs in the car!" he said. Then he looked to me, " Baby gets no respect around here."

"All right, what about you?" Sam asks Dean, "what about me?" he answers. I swallow hard, Sam wants to know about Purgatory. "Look at you. Both of you are shaky, on edge. What was it like?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Dean whispered looking straight at him, "Try me," Sam shoots back. Dean sighs and his eyes look far behind us and I could just picture the words he was saying. "It was bloody. Messy. 31 flavors of bottom- dwelling nasties. Hell, most days felt like 360- degree combat." He looked at me, "But there was something about being there."

I knew what he was talking about, life there was a constant fight, but it was simple. And it made your heart in a good way, a way that made you feel alive. But with that it also brought me pain, I didn't want to kill, but there was some sick satisfaction when you got to kill those nightmares.

Sam looks at me and Dean, the room is dead silent. "Emma, I think it's time for bed," Dean said standing up and pats the bed. This was code word for grown-ups need to talk, I roll my eyes. "Yes oh Great and Wise Dean," I said and go get ready for bed. That night Dean tells Sam all about me.

 **Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7: Monster

**A.N: Sorry for the super late update! I just started college and it was killer. And I broke my arm which further delayed the update. I will try to continue updating, because I really enjoy writing this story. I'm also trying a different format, tell me if you like it or not. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter! Please, Review if you like this chapter. And to those who have and are following the story, thank you a bunch!**

 **Chapter 7**

Sam, Dean , and I left to the college to ask Kevin's girlfriend about him. I was over the moon, for a while, until they made me wait at a bench for them.

"Come on guys!" I cried out in outrage.  
"Emma, I told ya I would take you with us, but this is as far as you go," Dean said.

"Sam?" I asked, he shook his head.

"Dean's right, you should just stay here. We'll be right back."

I sat on the bench with a huff, "I never get to do anything," I muttered as they left. Hell, Dean wouldn't even show me a picture of Kevin, because he was afraid I would try to do something stupid. It's so unfair, in Purgatory I was treated more like an equal than I was out in the real world. Out here I was just another kid who needed to be protected.

And the worst part of it is I don't remember anything. I mean I remember what life is, religion, some things like the Kardashians faces, as silly as it sounds, would seep into my memory, and would know which one is which by looking at their faces, the same thing happened with music. I remembered holidays, and some quotes. I just don't remember if I had a family, friends, or where I came from.

I didn't remember if I liked any T.V. shows or if I liked boys. I didn't even remember what a period was until I got it, a few days after Purgatory. I felt intense pain in my lower abdomen and when I went to the bathroom and saw the blood I started to cry. Then screamed for Dean, who assured me, awkwardly, that it was a natural human thing. Then proceeded to buy pads and pain medicine for me.

I bet that's what made Dean think I couldn't protect myself or anyone else, I was just another teenage dirt bag, and I hated it. I let out a sigh and look around the campus, there were students' scrambling around trying to get to their classes. I fought off the urge to get up and explore, knowing if they came back and I wasn't here I would probably never hear the end of it.

So I just sat and waited for almost an hour until they got back. While waiting a tall guy walks up to the bench and sits down next to me.

"Hey, haven't I seen you around before? " he asked, sliding closer to me. I looked at him with a raised brow.

"No…?" I said with a frown, "I just came to look at the campus."

He was undoubtedly handsome at first glance. But the more he talked the less handsome he became. I soon stopped listening to what he was saying.

"…Maybe we could head back to my dorm-"

"Or you could get the hell away from her."

Dean glared at the guy with Sam standing awkwardly behind him.

"Sorry, you are?" the guy said standing up.

"Her father, now get outta here," Dean growled out, the poor guy whisper a goodbye and ran away. I looked at Dean who was glaring at the guys retreating figure.

"So why would Kevin come sniffing around here if not to see her?" Dean said as he grabbed my arm and head the opposite way.

"No idea. Maybe we should split up, ask around, see if anybody's seen him?" Sam suggested.

Dean rolls his eyes, "Yeah, Asian kid, yea high, at a university. That should be easy."

"Let's get some food first, I'm starved," I pipe in, Dean raised an eyebrow, I looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just a surprise that you're not complaining about how long we took," he said and lead us to a food joint.

"I can't complain on an empty stomach," I said shrugging my shoulders.

We walked to a little food place, I sat in front of Sam. Sam immediately pulled out his laptop.

"We'll meet back here," Dean said and left me some money for food. I nodded and tried to grab the money, which Sam got to first.

"I'll get us some food," Sam said as Dean left, I groaned and leaned back in my chair.

"Fine," I said with a pout, it wasn't that I didn't want to eat healthy, I just liked eating popsicles. That was just my favorite thing to eat, I've only had hamburgers as every meal since I got out of Purgatory. Sam was really determined to stop my bad eating habits, maybe because he couldn't control Dean's.

Sam came back with a two chicken salads and waters. "Thank you," I said with a smile and practically devour the food. Sam sat and stared at his laptop, not moving, so I just have to converse with myself.

So I thought about how I could find that man with the black eyes. I didn't have much information, just what he looked like. Which probably wouldn't help, and with everything going on, I didn't need more stress. We would find Kevin first, then I would start to do more research.

I sighed and looked at Sam who was just starring off into space.

"So, do you like doing research?" I asked Sam, he look up confused.

"Um, yah, I guess."

He answered and went back to researching. I wanted to continue the conversation but I knew that finding Kevin was top priority. Not keeping me entertained.

"I think I'll go ask around some more," I said and got up before Sam could answer.

I went around asking practically everyone that walks pass me. Most of them ignore me, others try to hit on me. I began to get frustrated, this was getting me nowhere. So I walked back to the food place with my feet dragging.

Dean was scarfing down a hamburger while Sam talked to him.

"So what's up" I said as I sat down and took a fry from his plate.

"We're going to Iowa" Dean said and asked for the check.

* * *

We ended up at a church in Fairfield, Iowa after talking to a barista at a coffee shop. We walked up to the church, it was old and broken down and left a unsettling feeling in me. Dean puts an arm in front of me.

"Wait here," he told me. I huffed at him and I went back to the car and gave him the dirtiest look I could.

"Fine Dad," I said and went into the impala with a sour look. Even though they feeling didn't leave , I just closed my eyes, it was the first time I realized how exhausted I was. I just saw flashes of Purgatory that were so vivid I thought I was actually there, things that I don't even remember happening. I saw flashes of fire, dead bodies, and blood; so much blood. Then I saw myself being choked, it all too real, and I couldn't wake up. It was like I was looking at all of this from someone else's eyes.  
Then something changed. Purgatory was gone and all that was left was light and pain.

 _It's all going to be all right_ , a voice whispered, the voice was so soft I almost didn't hear it. And all I could see was the light and it was so bright it burned, but I could bring myself to scream or look away. There was a figure amongst the light and I was afraid if I turned away I would never see it again.

 _I can see that there are cracks in the walls of your memory, soon you'll be able to look and feel no pain_ , the voice continued. _But as soon as that happens, you'll have to go back to the place where it all started._

 _You are chaos, and the world is not ready for it yet._

I woke up sweating and with a pain , behind my eyes that just had to be real. I sat up with the heels of my palms pressed hard against my eyes. I looked at my reflection and my eyes were bloodshot red, the skin around it was also red and splotchy. Like something, or someone was scratching at them. Like I was trying to scratch them out.

I rubbed my eyes hard and got out of the car, my body felt weightless and walked slowly to the church , I stood next to Dean in the door way.

"Morin sleeping beauty," Dean whispered, I grunt at him and look into the church. Dean turns toward me.

"What happened Em?" he said pulling my face closer to his so he could get a closer look. A little voice in my head whispered, you have to tell him, and I knew I had too. I didn't want him to worry. There was already so much going on ,and he didn't need it, but if I lied he still would worry and never trust me.

"I had a nightmare," I whispered looking away, he let out a hard sigh and let go of my chin. He rubbed his face with his hands.

"How long."

"Just today, I swear Dean I'm fine," I said and looked into the church. He continued to look at me, then nodded. I turned away and looked into the church. Sam was sitting behind to a much shorter person, talking.

"Is that him?" I asked looking at them.

"Yah."

I tried to put on a smile and stride in, they both turned and face me. I walk up to the Kevin's pew and pull him into a hug.

"We have been looking everywhere for you," I said and pull away, he looks at me with pure confusion.

"T-thanks?"

"Oh, I'm Emma, I was in Purgatory with Dean," I said and put out a hand to shake. He takes it and smile.

"Kevin." He says as he looks at my face, obviously looking at my red eyes. He walks off and I sit on the pew , watching him walk off. He was nt handsome like Sam or Castiel nor was he dangerous looking like Dean or Benny, he was cute. He looked young, not like someone who would be a college student. Not like someone who can deal with all of this demon crap. He was a child, like me.

I pull my legs to my chest and look at Sam, who is staring off into the distance. Dean walks up and sits next to me.

"I know you want me to let it go, but are you okay Em?" he asks. I didn't know what to say to just get him to drop it. And I could feel panic raising, I didn't want him to worry, but I also didn't want to lie. And all I could think of was that voice and it calling me chaos, but I wasn't, I was just a regular human. I really needed to get him to leave me alone. Then I remember I'm a teenage girl.

"You know, I think I need more pads and some pain killers." I hear Sam clears his throat and Dean looks awkwardly at me.

"Yah, uh, sure." Dean said and looked at Sam, who was looking a little wide eyed at Dean. Dean got up and went to the car, muttering that he would be back in a few. I let out a sigh and stand up.

"I need a restroom, to deal with this." I say to Sam while pointing at my face. He nodded and went back to blank staring.

The restroom was disgusting and the mirror was dirty and cracked. The redness in my eyes was slowly fading. I felt so guilty. I was lying to Dean and that was the last thing I wanted to do. If Dean found out I was lying, would he do research and find out who I was. And what if who I was, truly is a monster. The uneasiness grew.

That's what scared me the most, if I was a monster, would Dean treat me like the monsters in Purgatory. Would he remember that I'm Emma or was Benny his only exception? Would he just kick me to the curb for some other hunter to deal with?


	8. Chapter 8: Black Eyes

**A.N: Sorry for my horrible tense changing, I always sucked at English grammar. Hope y'all enjoy this new chapter! 3**

I walk out of the restroom and into the room that Kevin left to. I couldn't face Sam or Dean, not with all of those thoughts still lingering in my head. I walk into the room and see Kevin sitting on the floor with his face in his hands, shaking. I quietly enter the room and plop down next to him. He jumped up with a gasp and pointed the water gun that laid next to him at me.

"You know you're safe now, right?" I say softly as I pulled my long hair into a tight ponytail. He looks at me with a raised brow.

"You don't have to be scared anymore, I'll protect you," I push the water gun down look at him closely. He was just as much as a mess as the rest of us. He probably hasn't slept in days. Kevin looks at me, and then begins to laugh.

"Sorry, how old are you, 13?" he manages to choke out. I huff and shove him softly, then begin to laugh with him.

"Possibly, I actually don't know how old I am," I say laughing even harder, it was sad really, but at that moment it was the funniest thing I have heard in a while. But Kevin doesn't laugh.

"Really?" he asks, looking up and down at me.

"Really, I actually don't know anything about me" I answer with a sigh. He awkwardly places a hand on my shoulder.

"Sucks that your first memories are from Purgatory," he said softly, I shrug.

"It could be worse, I suppose."

"That somehow makes me feel a lot better, you should be a life coach" Kevin said with a laugh.

I laugh with him, his laugh brought me at ease. All of those thoughts just kind of drifted away and all I could think about was this moment. I stand up and put my hand out for Kevin.

Once we walk back into the room, everything begins to shake.

"What the hell is that?" Sam said looking at the knife in Dean's hands.

"It's Purgatory."

The doors fly open and I brace myself. Two demons walk in and look at everyone in the room, gaze landing on Dean.

"Dean Winchester. Back from Purgatory."

"Spank the demon. Yeah I heard about you. You're the one who uses too much teeth, right?" Dean said raising his knife.

The demons rush at us and Kevin begins to squirt the demon's with his water gun as Dean, Sam, and I pass our knives back and forth.

I needed my knife, so I try to head toward the bag Dean brought with him but I get pushed, hard. The air was forced out of my lungs, making my vision go dark. I let out a soft curse and lung at the demon with a rusty nail. It's gone before I could even puncture the skin.

"Hello, boys." A deep voice says.

I look up and see a rather short man with a girl standing amongst the dead. Kevin freezes, his eyes never leaving the girls face.

"Dean. You're looking... well, let's just say Purgatory didn't do you any favors. Where's your angel?" the man asks.

"Ask your mother," Dean shoots right back.

"There's that grade-school zip. Missed it. I really did. Moose. Still with the pork chops. I admire that. And who is this? Picked up a stray in Purgatory?"

I gave him a hard look as Dean moved to be in front of me. I could only assume that this man was Crowley.

"Let Channing go," Kevin demands his face set in stone.

"That's not Channing, Kevin. Not anymore," Dean says.

"What an awful thing to say to the boy. Of course it's Channing. Kev. Last time we danced, you stole my tablet and killed my men. Tell you what. Come with me now, bygones. And I'll let the girl go back to... What's-the-Point U."

"He's lying," I say from behind Dean, I look at Kevin and said with false hope, "You won't get Channing back. She's probably dead already."

Crowley sighs, "Will you please stop saying that? Let the girl speak. "

He snaps his fingers and what I dreaded happened. The girls pitch black eyes go back to brown and she looks at Kevin with confusion, but also fear on her face.

"Kevin?"

"Channing?" Kevin's quick to ask.

"What's going on?"

"There's a demon in you, and you're going to your safety school."

"What?!" the girl announces loudly

"But it's gonna be okay," Kevin said voice full of reinsurance.

"I-I-I-I just – I can't." Crowley says and snaps his fingers as Kevin protests. The girls eyes turn black.

"Okay. I'll do it," Kevin said.

"Kevin," both I and Sam protest.

"Myself for the girl. But this ends. All right? No fighting, no nothing. It ends."

"Can't let you do that, buddy," Dean says looking hard at him.

"Or what? You'll kill me? I'll grab my stuff, Emma can you help me?"

I dearly wanted to protest, I would not be a part of this. But something in his eyes made me nod. I follow him to the back of the church.

"Close the door," he demands and goes to stand by a long rope.

"OK," I say skeptically and close it softly.

"Now we just wait," he said and pulls me next to him.

"Kevin!" Crowley's yell grow louder as his stomps grow closer. The door flies open and he says.

"Kevin."

Kevin pulls the cord and holy water drops onto Crowley and Channing. They yell loudly as smoke fills the room.

"Sam, Dean, run!" I yell as Kevin and I book it out of the room and to the Impala. Kevin and I jump to the back seat.

Dean starts the car and I finally breathe.

"I thought we were scre-"

Channing and Crowley stood on the porch as black smoke pours from Channing's mouth. The next moment seems to happen in slow motion. Channing's neck snaps and she falls to the ground, all I can hear is Kevin's yelling.

Kevin stayed quiet the rest of the ride, I could see the soft shaking of his shoulder but said nothing. If it were Dean, Benny, or Cas, I would comfort them, but since it was Kevin , I stayed quiet. I stared out the window at the dark night, slightly dozing off. But every time I closed my eyes I saw Channing's falling body.

And those pitched black eyes. They didn't bring me any fear or anger, not even the comfort I felt before. I just felt confused, why were the eyes of a demon the only thing I could remember.

 **Super sorry for these late updates, but I've had quite the writers block this past year.**


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